2019 Goals

Hello Loves,

The other day I was asked what my 2019 Goals were. Sure I’ve thought about it, but I didn’t have them written down and solidified. That conversation got me thinking so here we go…

Goal #1 – Health. Stick with a 80/20 mentality. No bagels, pack lunches for work and eat out 1-2x per week. I have food intolerances to dairy, eggs, soy and corn so again 80/20 in avoiding those!

Goal #2 – Fitness. Work out 4-5x per week and increase intensity. I tend to plateau and even though I’ll go to the gym I never increase the intensity, so my workouts aren’t as effective. To keep me accountable with this I will be writing down my workouts the week prior so I have them for my workouts.

Goal #3 – Buy a house.

Goal #4 – Work more consistently on the blog. I have a few series I want to introduce, so I am currently planning it all out and can’t wait to share with you all.

Goal #5 – Break a few personal bad habits. 1) Gossip 2) Negative thoughts/overthinking 3) Procrastinating

What are your goals for 2019?? How do you plan on holding yourself accountable?

Be sure to follow your girl on all social media – 

IG – findingmybestlife

Twitter – findmybestlife

xoxo Lets crush 2019 together!

Meg

 

FMBL – What’s your List?

“Don’t beat yourself up…just get back on track.”

These past few weeks I haven’t been feeling like myself. Un motivated and lazy, my body is always exhausted and it seems like the only thing I really want to do is sleep! I started thinking about why I am always tired and why I can’t get myself to be consistent with the blog. I lost my focus, I lost my why. But rather than give up and just throw away any opportunity, I am getting myself refocused and back on track.

As always, if you know me at all the first thing I did was make a list. Why did I start a blog? What made me motivated to do this in the first place? The last list I made was, what does it mean to me to truly live my best life. After all this blog is my experiences and my journey to discovering who I am and why I’m here. Its learning how to live my best life and finding that path to get me there and of course having some fun along the way!

I’m sharing my list with you, but keep in mind that everyone’s list is different. What makes me happy and fulfilled is not going to be the same for anyone else. We may have similarities but we should have differences thats what makes us unique!

In no particular order…

  • Own a rental property – Saratoga/Fire Island
  • Own a home
  • 2-3 Kids
  • Married to my best friend
  • Driving Lexus IS350
  • Consistently “put together” – I know what it means and theres a post coming soon!
  • Annual girls trip with my best friends
  • Author – 2 books (Stay tuned…)
  • Gem Deck (Again stay tuned…)
  • Strong Body & Mind
  • Healthy lifestyle – no eggs, no dairy – clean eating (cheat days OBVIOUSLY)
  • Fluent in Spanish/Sign Language
  • Grateful
  • Maintain relationship with family

I of course will probably add to this list, but that becomes part of the journey part of the fun! Discovering who you are and what you want out of your life should be enjoyable, it shouldn’t feel like a chore. If you only see the destination as your happy place you aren’t truly living your life. You should focus on gratitude and live in the moment. You can be happy while working towards living your best life. My list is my goal, it does not mean that I am miserable and not enjoying life until I have successful achieved all of these things. I’m living in the moment, truly embracing the journey that gets me there and learning from my mistakes along the way. Everyone will fail at some point in their lives, its inevitable. It is how we respond to failure that makes us who we are. You can accept failure and become defeated or you can continue to focus on your goal and find another way to achieve it.

“Failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.”

Unknown

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

Michael Jordon

I expect to fail, I expect to go into funks like these past few weeks but I will never give up on my goals and the life I want. It is not an overnight process, there is no way I can have everything on that list overnight. But I will have everything on that list.

I challenge you all to make your list. What does living your best life look like and how do you plan to get there? Write it down. It may seem silly but be specific. If you don’t write down your goals and read them over and over how do you expect to achieve them?

Xoxo

Meg

Up on the Roof ♥️

“When this old world starts getting me down
And people are just too much for me to face
I climb way up to the top of the stairs
And all my cares just drift right into space”

There are very few places or things that can calm my mind. Very few things that allow my mind to settle and allow all the stresses or worries of the world disappear. I am a well known over thinker as well as someone who thinks of every what if. With work I am always “on” and I always am answering questions or solving problems or thinking when It comes to my personal life… I don’t want to think. I don’t want to decide what restaurant to eat at, I don’t want to decide where we’re going on vacation or plan vacation! So after a stressful day or not eh weekends I like to “escape”

My escapes:

  1. Snuggled on the couch watching Reality TV – Yes i’m talking Kardashians!! My step dad used to make fun of me so much, but it gets me out of my own head and focused on other people’s problems. Even if they are losing $50K diamond earrings in the ocean (okay Kim) I can’t watch for hours but its nice to watch an hour before bed to get my mind off the day!
  2. The beach… when I need to escape after a long crazy day walking the beach or watching the waves crash or the sunset just always gets me to relax. It forces my body to relax and my mind to just focus on the present moment.
    1. Fire Island or Cape Cod will have the same effect.
    1. I love a chilly fall almost winter day on the beach. The cool crisp air and the sound of the waves. Its my happy place and where i feel safe.
  3. The gym. The gym keeps me sane. It is my cure all. If i’m cranky, mad, sad just not feeling good I go to the gym. Even if I don’t want to, i’lll force myself to at least go and walk which then usually turns into a full workout haha. But the gym clears my head and allows to me to focus on my body and not my mind. The gym also helps with my anxiety and keeping me level headed.
  4. If it gets really bad… I go to the woods. Driving through the mountains or windy roads with huge trees on either side completely relaxes me. Takes me back to when I was a kid and didn’t have the pressure of the world or any cares in the world. I was just me and whenever I am hiking in the woods or driving upstate NY or VT I instantly go back to that feeling. That is home to me and completely puts everything else on the back burner and I can relax and forget the world

The other day I went for a drive, no destination in mind. But like always I ended up at the beach. I walked for a little while and then sat down in the sand and just stared out at the ocean and watched the waves. I pulled out my phone and opened the notes section and didn’t think, I just wrote down how I was feeling and whatever thoughts came to mind… Here is what came out of it….

As I sit here on the beach the cool breeze touching my face the smell of salt water my toes buried in the sand to find some sense of warmth I think about the future and what it is that I really want out of life. I’ve always talked about starting a blog and never actually take the time to do it. I think the biggest problem is that I get so caught up in my day that when inspiration hits it is quickly taken away by an email or a phone call or a meeting. So I sit here on the beach feeling inspired. My phone is on air plane mode so I can’t be disturbed and I’m writing my first blog entry into what will become my journey. I don’t know what the future holds for me and I am at a fork in the road where I can stay on the same familiar path and continue on with my comfort level or I can take a risk (big risk) and leave everything for a new adventure. It sounds terrifying to someone who plans every second of their day and is constantly trying to analyze every action. But there is no sense is sticking with what is familiar. I know the pain the challenges the stress the anxiety of this path as well as the joys and happiness but there has to be more. Right now I feel as though I am merely existing I’m not living life to the fullest and I feel stuck. I am not growing as an individual because I am not in the environment in which I am supposed to grow. This chapter of my life is ending and it is time to turn the page and see what happens.

I’m choosing to take the road less traveled and explore. I don’t want to look back on life and think wow I wish I had explored opening my own business living in a new unfamiliar place where I know no one and can be whoever I want to be. I have been molded by so many people that have come and gone in my life and not enough by the people that have remained constant in my life. – more on that to come don’t worry. I’m ready to start down the path I’m calling the left path as I’m right handed and that is where my comfort level is. Im taking the left and I’ll see where I end up. It definitely can’t get worse. Life has a funny way of falling into place when you least expect it

It is so rare in this world to find a place where you can sit in silence and genuinely enjoy yourself. I’m reminded of the movie friends w benefits where she is laying on the rooftop in the busy city of New York and there is no cell phone reception and she lays on the roof staring at the stars. The beach is my rooftop. I can sit and listen to the waves crash for hours. Walk the beach on the edge of where the water meets the sand. Watch the seagulls fly overheard and the little birds that I have no idea the name of scurry as the waves come closer.

I love the beach when it seems no one else does.

Don’t get me wrong I love laying on the beach soaking in the sun but when it’s vacant except for the lonely surfer the fisherman and the one man walking his dog… that is when I love the beach. When it’s just the waves crashing against the shore. It’s quiet and I can be alone with my thoughts and my dreams. It’s simple but it’s my happy place and my rooftop. The beach just makes sense. All the stress and worries of the world disappear. I’m calm I’m happy and I could live in those moments forever.

If you have not found your happy place I urge you to explore visit as many places as possible. The place where you fee most comfortable alone. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world. If you’re able go to your rooftop once a day. If that’s not possible go at least 3 times a week. I cannot begin to tell you the impact it will have on your life. Enjoy every moment take it all in observe everything and capture it in your memory forever.

Everything is alright… up on the roof.

xoxo

Meg

Life Update

“As selfish as it sounded, she had to focus on herself. She kept trying to find happiness in other people. But realized it had to come from within her. Everyone wasn’t meant to understand her solitude and some felt slighted by her focus. Then again misery loved company and she learned to love being alone.”

After my last post I wanted to write a super motivating positive post but I’m just not there. I had an amazing weekend that grounded me and got me out of my head in regards to anxiety and stress but i’m still working through some stuff! I am happy, I am doing well I just need more time to process and deal with some things going on in my life. But I wanted to get on here and update you guys with what I can and being able to share what i’m going through with you all is important!!

The first update that of course effects my stress level is work! I recently made a change from operations to sales. The transition has been great and it has been a fairly smooth transition. My schedule is better! I am able to set my own appointments and I’m not awake at 4AM everyday or on site for 14 hours a day! That also allows me to have more work life balance which we all know i desperately needed!! Sales has allowed me to do what I do best which is connecting and networking with people. I love meeting new people and getting paid to go to events and meet people? YES PLEASE! So although it will be more pressure to sell, at least I am able to set my work schedule and have more control regarding that!

In regards to FMBL I am working on a few different projects that I cannot wait to share with you all!! One will be this year! The other may be a little further down the road but lots of exciting things to come!! – Stay tuned 🙂

My mom is moving to Colorado.. which I think is amazing and could not be better timing. But with her moving comes cleaning and packing her entire house! She isn’t taking her furniture and since I want to buy a house soon I have to get all her furniture into storage! I’m helping my dad with projects around his house so my step mom doesn’t kill him (LOL)

Now that i have furniture its time to really get serious about a house! I am meeting with a mortgage broker and real estate agent this week to get that ball rolling !

I also leave for a girls trip next week, I then come back for a few days have an install then get directly on another plane and off to London for the week with my mama! Then I am back for a month long install/removal! – Life is crazy right now to say the least!

I mean… can we add one more thing??

“They say if you want something done, ask someone who’s busy.”

#truth

I have definitely been distant from friends and family but right now I just need to focus on myself and my goals! I have a very ambitious year ahead of me and I just need to be selfish right now. There are a few more things going on that I am not willing to share publicly but I am dealing with that and working towards being the best version of myself!

Right now I am in a good place mentally and emotionally I just need to keep myself busy and focused on my goals. I have very ambitious goals and I am working incredibly hard and staying focused.

To my friends and family I love you! I am still here at any hour any day if you need me. Just please give me the space to work on me right now! I will still be posting content it just may be a little more time between the posts 🙂 Thank you for your love and understanding as I am under construction!

“Sometimes you just need to be selfish and take care of you. If they love you, they’ll understand.”

AM Routine

“Everyday is a new beginning, Take a deep breath smile and start again.”

You always read that successful people start their days before the sun rises. I agree with this whole heartedly. However most of those people are starting their days with a workout… I LOVE the idea of that, it just doesn’t work with my schedule right now. I was struggling to get everything accomplished when I was starting my day at 7am. I had it in my head that if I was waking up early it was too workout, I didn’t think about other things that I could cross off my to do list before 7am! I knew I had to come up with a plan to fit more into my days!

I came up with this routine and it has been working so well for me! I am able to manage my time better throughout the day and cross off everything on my to do list. Before I was trying to cram too much in a small amount of time because I couldn’t get past the idea that the only thing I can do before 7AM is workout… haha.

My Everyday Morning Routine

First thing I do when I wake up is wash my face. I am such a stickler when it comes to my skin care routine! I use Pacifica Kale Face wash and absolutely love it!

Turn on the coffee maker and start boiling water for my oatmeal. I pour myself a glass of water sometimes I’ll squeeze lemon but I always have a full glass of water before I drink or eat anything!

(Steel Cut Oatmeal)

  • Blueberries
  • Banana
  • Cinnamon

Once my coffee is ready I’ll sit on the couch and pull (3) affirmation cards. – 1 from each deck! Link to the decks I use below!

https://www.amazon.com/Affirmators-Affirmation-Cards-Help-Yourself/dp/1601067119

I like to write down in a journal my 3 affirmations and my initial thoughts to each. I will also just write down any thoughts that come to mind,, usually no more than a page!

Now its time to connect with the real world. I scroll through my work emails and try to get them down to 0! Not always easy, but I answer what I can before I get to the office, so I can start my day with a clean slate! As I’m answering emails, I make my to do list for the day!  I will also fill in any errands or anything else I need to get done!

Oatmeal is ready! With my oatmeal I have a glass of orange juice! I drink the trop50 as it has way less sugar!!

While I eat breakfast I either work on blog posts or I’ll do a chapter of Rosetta Stone (Spanish). By then,, its close to 7 AM and I need to get my butt moving!

I then start my hair and makeup, Some days are super simple and I don’t even wear makeup, other days I do a full face it all depends on what I have going on, Most days I keep it pretty simple, I am a girly girl but I also have zero patience when it comes to getting ready especially if I’m in the field or sitting in my office! (Weekends or nights out are a different story)

Before I get dressed I head to the kitchen and prep my food for the day! – thats a whole post in itself!

I always lay out my clothes the night before so getting dressed in the morning is easy! I used to stress so much over what to wear in the morning and then it would end up with my entire closet all over my room because I had to try every outfit on!

Then its off to work!!

This is my perfect world! Some days this routine works other days I have to modify it. There are some days I have to get out the door at 5AM to get to a job site and none of this gets accomplished, there are other days I have to run an errand and it cuts my routine short. Its a balance and its a lifestyle. So I don’t freak out if I have to alter my routine, I go with the flow! Its important not to punish yourself if you don’t always stick to a routine, life happens and will continue to throw you curveballs you just need to keep riding the wave!

You also have to experiment and find what works for you! For some people they may love working out in the morning and that fits their schedule – thats amazing! That doesn’t work for everyone (clearly) Some people are able to work out during their lunch break.. I give you guys a lot of credit! You have to come up with a routine that works for you!

Leave me comments about what your routines are or if you have any tips or tricks to getting up in the morning (I still struggle haha)

Stay tuned… my PM routine is next 🙂

xoxo

Meg

Quotes & Lyrics

“I can’t explain…but I’ll find a song that can”

Music has always been a huge part of my life. I am totally that person that if you’re in my car listening to my playlist hang on tight you never know what is going to come on next! One song can be maroon 5, the next hannah montana and then onto Johnny Gallagher Jr. (You just never know) I do have a large range of taste in music and I definitely attribute that to my upbringing. I was surrounding by a variety of music, my mom listened to John Denver (yes I can recite almost EVERY WORD OF EVERY SONG) my step dad was into… EVERYTHING and my dad listened to Jethro Tull. So where country comes in… I couldn’t really tell you but I love it all.

I love live music and going to concerts or musicals. The atmosphere makes you feel alive and its a place to get lost in the lyrics. Growing up my mom used to take us to the Flynn theater and we would see shows such as Bye Bye Birdie and Fiddler on the roof and although I’m not theatrical I can appreciate theater. My stepdad used to take me to Broadway shows and I just loved it! Favorites were…. American Idiot, First Date.

When it comes to concerts.. thats a tough one for me to decide my favorites. I obviously LOVED seeing my step dad perform and would give anything to see him perform again. But let me think… As far as hidden gems…I recently saw Jeff Daniels live and OH MY GOD was he fantastic! He did an amazing job of combining humor with real experiences and then tugging at your heart strings all in 2 hours! It was a fantastic show and I Would highly recommend it! Anytime Johnny Gallagher Jr is in town I have to go he is phenomenal as well.

Country…I am obsessed with Luke Bryan (Duh who isn’t) Rascal Flatts… wow! They were so funny and real! Keith Urban puts on a great show as well! I bought tickets to a show at Mohegan Sun back in high school.. he was so good I bought tickets and saw him AGAIN the next night! haha

I love local artists and seeing street performers as well. Those are the ones that are truly passionate about their craft. When you are willing to perform for free it really is a passion and not a job.

Music has been there for me when no one else has. There have been some really rough times in my life where I’ve been alone and music was there. Whether that was taking a drive and just letting my playlist play or flipping through youtube listening to every song title that interests me. When I don’t know how I feel or what i want to say, I always can find a song that seems like it was written about me and it allows me to process my thoughts completely. I can spend hours on youtube finding new songs or just cleaning my place and having dance parties to 90’s throwbacks.

Music is definitely a huge therapy and release for me. It has really gotten me through some tough times. Quotes have a special place in my heart as well. I can spend HOURS AND HOURS on pinterest just reading quotes. Its such an amazing tool that allows you to search keywords and it populates all these quotes related. Many times I will search quotes about strength, happiness, law of attraction, life advice etc. and just read the quotes for hours and pin them so that when I need those words of encouragement or reminders I have them.

Any situation where I feel awkward or can’t find the answer I have a quote a lyric or a song I can turn to! Even when I need encouragement or I just to laugh I have songs or quotes for those too! Check out my spotify for my playlists and pinterest for quotes for almost EVERY situation! I am still sorting and cleaning up my pinterest but bare with me!!

Spotify – findingmybestlife

Pinterest – megcoan

Let me know your favorite songs or quotes I am always searching for my next favorite!!

Xoxo Meg

 

“The key to a women’s heart is hidden in her playlist.”

“Somedays I need the music, sometimes I need the lyrics.”

 

College Years

“Let them sleep while you grind.

Let them party while you work.

The difference will show.”

My college experience was anything but normal… but looking back. I would not change a single aspect. Rewind to my senior year of high school, I had every intention of going to Farleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey. I had gone to orientation I had made new friends. I had done all my shopping for my new dorm room. I was excited!! Less than a month before I was to move in and start my college career.. I got a call that paperwork had not been filed correctly and I was not enrolled. Not my fault it was an admissions mistake but none the less there was nothing I could do. They told me to re apply for the spring,.. I was lost. That was my plan I didn’t have a back up! (Lesson learned) So I acted quickly… I had two options.

  1. Take a semester or year off
  2. Go to community college

I weighed my pros and cons. Taking a year off sounded exciting but I worried about taking time off and if I would want to go back after my year off. (Part of me wishes I had taking the year off and traveled abroad but oh well) Option #2 I hated the idea of community college. I felt as though community college was for slackers or those that had no direction and it has a stigma too it and I wanted nothing to do with it.

In the end I chose to go to community college, although I really didn’t tell many people that was my plan. After about a month of living at home, working as a pharmacy technician at Walgreens and going to school full time, I was in my glory and I was shocked. I had some amazing professors at my community college and met some really amazing people. I was taking cooking classes and enjoying it – this coming from the girl that literally couldn’t boil water! I learned a lot from Chef Lemaire and I definitely owe most of my cooking skills from him and I will forever remember… “ONE GALLON WATER TO ONE POUND PASTA” – hahaha.

I truly enjoyed my classes and after two years was sad to leave. But I wanted a bachelors degree and unfortunately that was not happening at community college. After two years, I had saved a tremendous amount of money. Community college is a LOT cheaper than university… in case you didn’t guess that! My first two years were paid off and my friends were all at least $50K in debt. I also saved money by living at home, I had a super flexible job so I was saving $$ and I got to spend quality time with friends who stayed close to home and my family.

My overall review of community college is phenomenal. It isn’t for everyone but for those who are nervous about moving away and being on your own it is an easier transition. It gives you a sense of responsibility and opportunity to be on your own but still living at home with the support of family. You save a whole lotta money which you will really appreciate after you graduate and start in the real world! It also gives you the opportunity to get your general credits out of the way and have time to figure out what you want to major in/what career to pursue!

Once I finished at community college I transferred to Johnson & Wales University. JWU was unforgettable to say the least. I truly found a school that felt like home and to this day still does. Every time I return to campus its like a never left. The professors and faculty are like family and I made some amazing friends that will last a lifetime. I found a school that focused on the work rather than the books. It was all about working events and learning hands on which fit me like a glove. Classes were taught by professors who had worked in the hospitality field and truly understood what it took. The long hours, the hard work, and the rewarding aspect of service. Our professors gave us hands on experience so we knew what we were getting into. We were connecting with people in our field, we were told to go work events and learn what they did right and how to make it better. It gave us the understanding of what we would be doing for the rest of our lives before our lives officially started.

I recently attended our alumni event and it brought back so many memories. They have made so many improvements and it is great to see the expansion and positive things happening for the students. The JWU network is so supportive and always willing to help another alumni.  One thing you can always count on at any JWU event is there will be amazing food. It was truly. magical to taste the local vendors and JWU grads food. I ate a few too many of those appetizers! There was a inspiring panel with alumni chefs who had been on tv shows. Hearing there stories was interesting and definitely relatable. I also attending a few speeches one in particular about marketing. I was blown away! I always am by JWU.

My experience in college was unforgettable. It was not what I had plan but it was exactly what I needed. If you are in high school and thinking about colleges, consider community college. Granted I am so thankful for my experience at JWU I wouldn’t have been as successful had I not spent those couple years at community college. After graduating my student loans were minimal and my experience was everything.

 

Xoxo

Meg

Turn it off!

“I’m just another Alice who’s trying to find her way out of her head and into a Wonderland.”

I was having this conversation with a co worker today about the difficulty of shutting off work! Especially in our industry it is incredibly hard when we work almost 24/7 365 days a year… when we do get time off all we think about is work or talk about is work because its our live! I have a very hard time turning my brain off at the end of the day or anytime i’m not working. It takes a long time for me to relax and unwind! Over the years I have discovered a few tips and tricks that have really helped!

In no particular order…

  1. Get your booty in the gym and sweat it out – when i’m in the gym my mind goes blank and I lose myself in cardio or weight training. “You never regret a workout”
  2. Go for a long drive and put on a playlist that reflects your mood – check out my spotify for some great playlists! (Findingmybestlife)
  3. Coloring books! – They are not just for kids. I find it so relaxing to not focus on what colors you should you and just use whatever color you pick up (NO RULES)
  4. Take a bubble bath and play some soothing music (think about the music when you get a massage or facial) Add some aromatherapy oils as well!
  5. Bake! I find myself so focused on which ingredient I need next and constant movement in the kitchen that I lose myself and the next thing I know its 2 hours later and I have yummy warm cookies and milk 🙂
  6. Head to the beach. Whether its just walking with my feet in the water or sitting in the sand and watching the sunset. The beach always resets my mood and allows me to think clearly.
  7. Escape! If i’m really desperate and just need to escape life for a while I head to Fire Island or Cape Cod. Both places give me that feeling of freedom. I don’t have responsibilities I don’t have a care in the world and i can just live.
  8. Write it down.. throw it out! I am a big supporter of just writing down how i’m feeling whether that is in my journal or just typing away on my computer. Sometimes i’ll keep what I write, other times I just need to get it off my chest and I never want to see it again! So I click “Delete”
  9. Turn off your phone and stop checking email! You can’t turn it off if you are still getting those notifications. I try really hard when I don’t have an active job to leave my phone OFF!
  10. My secret guilty pleasure that ALWAYS WORKS… reality tv! I love watching any kind of reality tv that focuses on anyone else but me! Not my drama, not my friends, not my family and 100% not my problem. Ends up making me forget about my drama for a while and when I do come back to reality my life never seems so bad 🙂

What are some ways you unwind or relieve stress? How do you “turn it off”?

Xoxo

Meg

 

Balance

Almost my entire life I have always put work first. I had a plan for my life, I was going to work hard, I was going to become successful in my career and then settled down and focus on family and kids. That plan sounds great on paper, but what ended up happening is my relationships with friends and family suffered. I missed birthday parties, weddings, dinners and life in general because I never wanted to take a day off. Work was my priority.

I know myself and when I make a decision, my blinders go on and nothing will stop me. This is a fault that I am working on. I get so laser focused on one thing and lose sight of everything else around me. In the past 4-5 years I have changed drastically, not so much physically but emotionally and mentally. Those that knew me before don’t know me now.

“T’m proud of the woman I am today,  because I went through a hell of a time becoming her.”

Now I am in a chapter of my life where I crave balance. I still want to work hard and develop my career but I also want to enjoy my life. I want to travel, I want to get married, I want to have kids and none of that is happening with the way I currently live my life. Most mornings i’m up between 4:30AM/5AM and I don’t get home till 6/7PM sometimes later depending on if I go to the gym. Add in a newborn/dog and husband? Yeah right!

My focus lately has been balance, trying to really work on spending time with family and friends and making them a priority. When I get an invite to a BBQ, birthday party or housewarming party it becomes a priority and I make sure that work is covered. I have been listening to Gary Vee’s podcasts and speeches lately and he is a workaholic.. and that works for him! He had a vision and he did whatever he had to do to make sure that came true. Not having a day off or a vacation in years. If that works for him… GREAT! that model does not work for me. I love my career and I am always the first one to put in the extra hours or go above and beyond to make a client happy, but I am not willing to sacrifice my relationships and my mental health!

“The “No days off” mentality is toxic. Take the days off that you need to be in the best mental shape.”

I am not saying that there aren’t weeks where I go without a day off because that isn’t true. In busy season I can go weeks without taking a day off, so then where is the balance? Even at my busiest I still need to maintain a life and still maintain my health. I do this by going to the spa, or going to the gym or meeting friends for a quick drink even if it means staying up an extra later than I would. Focusing on one thing obsessively is not healthy. You need to be able to release that energy into other things. When I find myself obsessing over work, I’ll go to the gym or i’ll ask a friend to go to dinner and refuse to talk about work! You need a balance in life, it can’t just be about work, or about a relationship there needs to be even amounts or at least even out over time!

Even if you only get a glimpse, or small period of time where you can do something else to create some balance it can drastically help you! There are a couple things I do to “balance my life”

Relationships – My friends all know I am a workaholic, but they also are always there for me and always willing to drop everything to grab a drink or go see a movie! So when work gets to be too much I’ll call one of them to go meet me for a drink or meet me downtown to grab a quick bite! We’ve done paint nites, or sometimes its as simple as bringing over ice cream and hearing the latest boy gossip!

Fitness – The gym is a place where I can go to get away from it all. It is my best stress relief and genuinely makes me happy. I need to make time for it and make it a priority. Doesn’t mean I have to become obsessed and get down on myself if I miss a day. I just need to make the gym a priority and go as often as I feel necessary. The gym is a great BALANCING act for work, because it de stresses me more than anything! When i’m at the gym I might as well be on another planet. I zone out and listen to good music and just sweat! I have never left the gym feeling worse thats for sure!

Travel is a tough one for me, because I love to gain the experience but I am so strict with saving money! Haha. But I am biting the bullet and booking trips! I am going to cape cod to see friends and i love the cape I want to spend more time there! I booked a trip to colorado to see my sister, my mom and I booked a trip to London/Yorkshire Dales. Travel is an escape, and even if its a short trip to Fire Island (only a 45 minute ferry ride away) it still gets me out of “work mode” and helps me to relax and enjoy myself again! When work is really stressful and I just need a break I usually go home to my parents in CT. They always spoil me and it just helps to break the mold! We have movie marathons with obnoxious amounts of junk food, we go shopping I get to do laundry and hit the gym and just not have responsibilities!

Life is too short not to be happy and when you find things that make you happy you have to do more of it. Travel and spending time with friends and family is really important to me. I crave that. I have spent too much time working and not enough time living!

Think about it. How is your life balance? What are you missing? What are you not doing enough of that you need to make yourself happy? Find your balance.

Couple Tips:

  1. Learn to say no
  2. Prepare a schedule
  3. Make a to do list and complete your list each day
  4. If you make plans KEEP them no matter what! (unless an emergency)
  5. Workout in the morning before anyone else wakes up to distract you
  6. Schedule time to do NOTHING and time to have fun
  7. Don’t bring work home and don’t bring your home life to work
  8. Unplug when you can
  9. Wake up earlier
  10. Make family and friends a priority! – Phone calls to check in or even better face to face time

xoxo Meg

143

You know that song by Halsey.. Bad at love? That was always me. I think because I never believed I was capable of accepting love. I went through a very difficult breakup with my first love. I thought I was head over heels in love but I was incredibly young and had no clue who I was or what I wanted out of life. After we broke up I moved home. After a month of being spoiled by mom and dad I was starting to feel closterphobic and had to move out! Its nice being home and having mom do your laundry and dad take you to dinner every night but when you’re 24 years old…and had been living alone for many years. I needed my own space! Plus I was commuting to work in NY every day which was no fun! I found a place and began to settle in. I had been there a few weeks when I found out my step father had coded in the hospital. Not more than a few weeks later he was gone. I was a mess inside, I had called off my wedding and my step father whom I was incredibly close to had passed away unexpectedly. I had no idea how to process emotion, so my defense was to put on a brave face. I often hold my feelings in as I do not want to “bother” those around me. I also for my own benefit don’t want to talk about feelings and emotion, I don’t like to be vulnerable. In some ways its healthy and in others not so much. I hold a lot in and it often ends up exploding rather than just be rational. (I’m working on it) I have lost several people in my life, more than an average person should at my age. I have chosen to deal with it in a positive way rather than dwelling on the negative. Yes they are gone but I know in my heart they will always be with me. I chose to remember the good times. This may sound blunt but death is inevitable, none of us know when our last day is so death often reminds me to live in the moment and take risks. Do I wish they were still around when I need advice or have good news to share? Of course! But the universe has a plan and who am I to mess with that. On the negative side, not talking about the pain I’m experiencing bottles a lot up inside. I hide the pain and never real deal with that.

What does this have to do with romantic relationships?? Well I don’t fully know. My ex fiancé was probably one of the only relationships I would have considered to be a real relationship. After our breakup and the passing of my step father I lost myself. I am still in the process of discovering who I am to this day! In losing myself I allowed myself to date men who didn’t deserve me and who treated me poorly. They were not bad people by any means, I still talk to almost all of them in fact! Whether it was bad timing or just personalities that didn’t mix. Lets just say it never worked out. Each relationship taught me a valuable life lesson and I am beyond grateful to all of them for that. I have learned that you really need to love who you are. Every stretch mark, every freckle, your laugh, your smile, your eyes, your personality! You have to love every inch of yourself. Otherwise how can you expect anyone else too? You also need to live your best life!–

If you want to travel, travel. If you want to learn a new language whats stopping you? Take up a new hobby, learn a new sport, take an art class. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone. That is when you are going to truly understand who you are inside and out. Be responsible but if someone asks you to do something, GO DO IT! Experience life, we are not on the this earth for very long so if you have something you want to do, just do it! Don’t let anyone or anything hold you back.Again I say be responsible but find a way! Don’t have a ton of money but want to travel the world? Get creative! Stay with friends, relatives, friends of friends. Where there is a will there is a way! (If you don’t know by now I am full of clichés and quote- Get over it)

I am no dating expert nor am I in a relationship so I’m not going to sit here and tell you the 10 steps to get a boyfriend/girlfriend or how to fall in love!– I have no idea! When I figure it out I will gladly share! But for now I will just tell you the lessons I’ve learned from my failed relationships

1) If you see a red flag…PAY ATTENTION. Determine if this is a deal breaker.. if it is DON”T WAIT It won’t go away and it will only get worse. Don’t waste your time.

2) Getting married or having a baby will not save your relationship

3) Don’t negotiate. Make a list of your non negotiables and stick to them!

4) Once a player always a player (unless you get lucky)

5) Don’t change your schedule or rearrange plans for a boy unless its serious and they would be willing to do the same

6) Be spontaneous–don’t be afraid to not have a plan. Those nights make for the best dates!

7) If there is an ex that is still in the picture.. RUN!

8) Communicate. Nothing kills a relationship quicker than a lack of communication. There is this meme that always sticks with me. I’d describe it, but I’ll just link it below!

9)When a boy tells you to listen to a song…LISTEN to the words

10) Sometimes its just meant to be fun.

11) Don’t rush anything, everything will happen when it’s meant to

12) Men are SIMPLE! Don’t overcomplicate the situation.

13) If they can’t love you when you’re in sweatpants hair a mess, no makeup on and being a bitch… they don’t deserve you.

14) Continue being you… don’t change who you are because you’re with someone else and DON”T be the guy/girl who ditches their friends for a relationship

15)  Remember when you’re fighting its you and them versus the problem… not you versus them.

16) Have fun… laugh be silly and just enjoy life. Life is hard enough love and relationships should be the fun part 🙂

17) Pay attention to the opinions of your friends and family. This one is BIG for me. I am a firm believer in friends and family don’t know what goes on behind closed doors but they also see things that you are blind too. If they tell you it may not be a good idea.. at least take that into consideration. They love you and only want what is best for you.

18) If they won’t let you take pictures and post on social media.. RUN. They are hiding something. Also goes for if they want to keep your relationship on the down low. There is nothing wrong with keeping your relationship private.. it is not for the world to know. But there is a difference. If they are “hiding” you in anyway… RUN.

19) Do the little things. They truly mean the most. Surprise each other, buy silly gifts or leave notes to let them know they matter and you care.

20) LAST ONE…lets make it a good one. DON”T play games… the rule about not calling for 3 days… don’t respond right away play hard to get.. etc just stop. Be you, if you want to double text double text. If you want to see someone or talk to them say it. Be real, don’t pretend to be something you’re not to impress them. If its right they will love you no matter what.

Send me your advice or tips. I would love to hear it!! If you’re single… ENJOY this time in your life. you will get married and you will have kids (if that is what you want) enjoy being single with no responsibilities, travel, eat a lot of food stay up late go to bed early, be spontaneous. Take this time to truly find out who you are and take some risks!

Always xoxo

Meg